Tuesday, March 22, 2011


There's a better place,
over the tall huge hedge.
I wish I could climb over the hedge but I'm too afraid.
Afraid that I would stumble and fall.
Aahh. Scratch that. It's a lie.
I'm just, I'm afraid to change.
Why? Why is it too hard for me? Too hard for me to change myself?

You're a fool. Ask that question to yourself.
You idiot. I am asking myself, excuse me.

Sometimes, I wish I could be a better person. I do. But why, why can't I change myself? To a better person? Why is it so hard for me to make a change? I'm not feeling good right now. I mean, there's no perasaan yang tenang dalam diri ni. *Long sigh.

It feels like there's a huge tall hedge or wall in front of me. I need to climb over it because there's a better world, a better place over that huge thing but I refused to climb over it. Why? Oh this misery feelings controlled me. Stubborn, heartless, pride, selfish, arrogant. These attitude, unfortunately, represents me. God, I need to change it. I really do. You know, it's sad when people say, 'Hey, nice to meet you. I ingat you sangat sombong tau. Tengok muka and cara you macam sombong gila' HAHA. I am. Trying to show the world that I can handle everything. I don't need anyone except myself. Imma tough bitch yo. LOL.

The truth is, I'm not. I can't handle EVERYTHING. I don't do handle. I'm not strong either. Just pretending to be strong so that people will say, 'Damn this bitch is tough so don't mess up with her'.

Oh dear. I'm too sick now. Somebody, please save my soul, my life.